Parenting / Pepper Verde

My children are assholes……Sigh.

That sounds so awful. But today it’s true. Today is a day that requires a re-do. I would like to start over. With a good morning run and no yelling. Running always helps with the yelling.

My name is Pepper Verde (my alter ego name) and I have 3 boys. Ages 11, 2 and 6months. The latest was a surprise. A big, fat, birth control surprise. We were done having kids and ready to rock. I was back to my skinniness and we were going to move to the Big Island. Sigh… Double sigh. So no palm trees now for us, just lots of ugly snow. Why, oh WHY do I live somewhere that has four seasons?

But, back to the assholes. I love my children, truly I do. However, some days I only like one of them. But not today. Today they are all in the doghouse. The baby cries all the time because he can’t stand not to be held up so that he can see what his brothers are doing. The two year old has to write W’s on everything and wants to know what every sound is and won’t keep his fingers out of the sample sushi and has to ROAR at everybody in the store, (the list could go on as 2yr old lists generally do) and the oldest child is about to be a teenager any second but didn’t get enough sleep the night before so he is slightly emotional, but is growing so he is getting upset that he can’t eat ALL the crackers. My patience is thin like grape skin and I want to pull my hair out and scream for quiet and to please leave me alone so I can remember what silence sounds like… Sigh. But I won’t hear that. Probably not for years.

And when I do I’m gonna bet that I’ll miss the cries and the W’s and everything in between.

But right now I just want quiet. And a martini. Dirty.


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